Skip to main content

For the love inside!

It occurred to me quite late in life what belief is, and i am still on my way of completely allowing myself to believe, that i believe me. No matter how fundamental the concept is, i keep revising it for most part of the time of my day, daily. It was a struggle at the beginning but now its an idea, waiting to be turned into a habit. Its a deliberate effort of a vulnerable heart to receive the backing of the brain, busy being an expert of realities. Thoughts are places i visit so often that i either forget coming back home or get too tired after i am back. Its the easiest way of flying when the winds cannot fill the wings or in my case of upsetting reality, the disguised blessing of not having the wings at all. Oh yes, i always knew i lack wings, like literally always. From the time when i feared standing up in a class to speak, to the time when i speak to a class, i always knew i lacked wings. But something is good about this fact, that its a fact, not a truth, well not my truth. I do not look like my truth and it is all i am made of. I am not all love inside but most of what i am, keeps me alive, from the inside, in a world where loving comprises with the living. I am aware of the reality and this awareness has brought me the most calming tool, which in my case is 'acceptance'. I am happy or can try to make myself happy because after a very long time of childhood inhibitions, the grownup version has finally accepted the facts and is set to change it. Experiences are crucial, you need them. Expectations are cruel, we feed them. And i think its a loop we create in our lives that we learn from experiences emanating from failed expectations. There is a realization lately that as much important it is to accept your fact, its equally essential to expect from your truth. The fact gives you the point of start and your truth, well it can take you wherever you want. The bird was never caged but that does not mean she has taken a flight. So yes the dream is the obvious dream of the view from top, the dream of not shaping the only life in a certain preconceived mold and the dream of living the truth despite the fact. Yes its known that the bird is without wings but the love inside believes that for the feel of flying, all she needs is the feel to fly. The sky is the limit, and its always someone's belief in their wings that keeps it limited or beyond.









Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

He is the One

He is the One. You seem like the scent of a long-gone childhood You seem like a song hidden in a diary It was the elevator where our eyes sparked a smile, The smile that blows off a candle from its heat The smile that plants a love grenade.   I adore your face Like a sunflower keeping up with the sun, I have met you in ways Like a mirage that never meets the horizon.   Your wind keeps the winter warm. When you become the sun that struggles to peep, Your wind draws my hair on the face While I hear the jingling wind chime to sleep.   I adore the geometry of the diameter of your nostrils, I adore your pearly eyes that keep me awake even when I dream about them in dreams, I dream of your eyes, I dream of them falling for the mole on my cheek, For my unkempt paint-less soft feet, For my shy dark eyebrows, For my fingers, when they run through your mind, For the way I make you laugh out of nowhere, For the way, I held myself str...
2 comments
Read more

Love isn't in the air

 The laundry-washed clothes have a unique smell of freshness, the freshness of it being clean, the goodness of it being good to go again! The day seems newer with a fresh ironed cloth on the body, the body seems fresh with a new soaked approach for the day. The birds talk to me, the purple flowers stare at me, I blush when they do that and I think, how am I not over them already! I never get over them. Every single time they make me feel purple, even if it's just for a moment. It's the same with humans too, I suppose. People who make you feel purple are purple themselves, they have their own color, they have their own sun trapped glow. There is no one way of describing an early morning sunrise and so there's no one way to describe that purple feeling. Sometimes when you can't measure something in quantity, you aren't able to say how much gravity it holds in words, so you reply with a silent adoration for the ocean before you. I see the ocean in his eyes and when the...
3 comments
Read more

```Yours Godly```

The sight of a red moon delights me so much about my life/my eyes that i feel relaxed in ways which makes me live, more lively. I simply fell in love with that moment when the time inside takes a pause to make me realize that it's a rare beauty, no matter how many times the night witnessed it. I never thought seeing the moon would make me obsessed about seeing the moon. Witnessing it is my way of knowing how much this god thing loves me.  It's a thing because that's what i have known it from my conditioning. It's a photograph in an assumable sacred place at my home, it's an orange or black or sometimes a beautifully designed body of stones and marbles in some other assumable sacred place at different parts of the world. I wholeheartedly appreciate the amount of art and literature invested in creating the different ideologies of this god thing, because all of that was somebody's ''work''. Somebody's sweat, blood and tears have been fossilize...
12 comments
Read more

Letting go.....

There's detergent and filthy clothes in my bucket when I opened the tap water to create lather. Initially, there was absolutely no movement of my clothes but then as the water level increased, I felt what those clothes must have felt; the stress from congestion loosens up as the water enters them and they slowly seem to relax and float as if they are yawning and stretching out of weeks-long wait to be cleaned. I presumed that that's how letting go must feel, at least initially. When was the last time you had to dig some soil and leave it like that for air to seep in? When was the last time you looked into a mirror not to get ready for the day but to read your own face? Have you ever read your own face? Did you like what came as a reflection? Were you able to see the truth of your deeds in your eyes?... There are many ways to look at yourself; the mirror is not the eyes that behold your reflection but it does hold some truth because it lets you see your eyes. I adore my eyes, I ...
1 comment
Read more

My 'M' size life

Do you know what the most committed thing in your life is? It's not your parents, friends, or lovers. It will always be your belly fat. The center of your mass, the middle section of your body, and the putative locus of your subconscious. Why am I subconsciously always aware of its mass, and why does it matter so much that most of my neural energy is spent on concealing its existence? My belly fat grew up with me. When I was small, it was small. Now that I am big, it's big too. It's big enough to hold my beer of thoughts about my middle-of-somewhere existence. My window always shows me life in real-time. It is the beginning of spring here, and every morning when I wake up and look outside, I see the branches more peachy in color with flowers I knew I had seen earlier but forgot. I forgot when they vanished. I only noticed when the roads were colored again with them. These flowers remind me of my forgotten dreams. Dreams that have come back to me, slowly, again. The idea of ...
4 comments
Read more