I Know It..

For some reason of unknown priority is the state of mind, which is in constant denial of thoughts that does not allow it to rest, like literally. Something in the head aches unlike the familiar headaches as if a machine has been running without a stop and is drained of fuel and energy only to realize no work has come out of it. Its abnormal how loud and fast my heart beats as if i have magically raised a second one in all these years in my right side too.There are people around me, so its hard for my eyes to even think of melting glaciers because i do not have an explanation for the warming that led to it.A cocktail of emotional trash flushes through the veins of my head and hurts the walls of the vessels in which my life filled blood somehow manages to reach out for me.I am dumbstruck with these changes as it is a renewed version of the previously experienced one, but this time with more intensity and nothingness. I tried emptying myself off of all but sooner realize that its not under my control to not think, what i am trying, not to think because what i end up involuntarily doing is thinking about it. Its a task to console yourself for every single thing at every moment and even more a task to do it in front of people, known , unknown, regardless.Its a wave that hits you and you get waved by it, thinking that this is all you got and get.And no matter how high the waves rise to make you believe its gigantic grip in your life, time is the gravity that will show it the ground. So while you struggle coming out of the deep, dim ocean of thoughts to grab a fresh breath, your body manages to learn to swim through it secretively.Even if you can't see or feel what you have learnt you will never be the same body for the next wave of your life because now you at least know how important these waves are for your dream to be a swimmer!

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Let's fear!

The best thing that happens in my day is when i find myself and my other selves alive, because the good in the morning is that we are, there in the morning. Of all the fears that we carefully amass, it's the fear of not being alive the next moment, that's taken very much for granted. Death is feared by everyone even-though it's a shared fate, and life being the brief stay, is assumed unlimited. I really fear not being alive, being extinct but not necessarily death.I don't think humanity is ever going to crack the formula for how to live a life, and i also think we don't need a full blown answer, we just need few hints, since the answer is- to each their own. One of the hint for that question is undeniably, fear, a definite one i believe. There are a lot of things we are afraid of, or get scared by but fear is the only one,worth your attention.A child is ironi...

The beautiful in life!!..

The beautiful in my life does not attract me, it simply stuns my soul in a way that makes me realise that i have one, one of a kind. It's romantic to look into a mirror and try to see with your eyes ,what you look like. It's unfamiliarily easy to touch your reflection with your fingers; your eyes, the shade of grey underneath them, your lips,with their salmon inked dried crevices, your forehead, a perfect place for a touch of red love, your uncared hairs and their long time resentment with you, your cheeks and oh my goodness, the thing they turn into when you smile, it's so undescribably imperfect, making everything insensibly beautiful!!.The face is what you see, the way you see it, is what you look like. Like the breeze of warmth a 90s evergreen love song shower, a lively moment of your parents laughing, the crazy way of irritation your siblings evolve every minute, a random call from a friend who wants to talk to you, a friend next to you who just want you to talk, a l...

Starting me

The more we think goes with the act of nothing being done. So when you actually start doing something like blogging, you can't help but think again.In times where conversations have become tasks, with the backing up of time constraints, it is important to put thoughts into words to express what is there to be expressed.And for people like me who love the inked world as forms of exhalation,blogging seems to be a sigh of relief from the rest of the breath.I am new to this air of living or one can say late (as usual), but it feels good to finally begin and try something. This is just going to be my attempt to know the perspective of the world i reach based on my perspective of the world, inside me and around there. Its wonderful to be alive and type, but what is even more wonderful is to live to type and be the type that you are typing. I identify myself with a lot of types, but the type i want to be is what i am a bit already and a lot bit out there to become.Its a curious head...

Play the.....PAUSE..........**

I stepped on a dry curled leaf on the ground and the sound is somehow very satisfying. The brutal crunching makes way for easy assimilation of the dead leaf into the ground. I have watched the same leaf go from the small peachy pink size to the big vibrant green one followed by the sunny yellow attire!! And let me tell you that sums up the question of life for me in just seven words: EACH FORM OF BEING IS EQUALLY BEAUTIFUL. The body lying on bed has witnessed the pink-green-yellow steps circularize ; credits to the window that allows the eyes to witness the tree, which sometimes looks like a painting in the canvas of a blue shade. Sometimes waking up to a sight of life like that makes you happy and just for that moment everything about yourself seems enough. As usual as it may seem, to have your face washed by the morning rays of dawn, this regular thing is how life kisses you, soft and gentle. For a long time i have been kissed alive by the day and for a long time i haven'...

Wish I was loud.

My nails grow in silence, break with noise, and grow back in silence again. My heart grows in silence, breaks in silence, and grows back in better silence again. If our lives had background music, it would have been a lot easy to live. Every emotion would have a 'value'; every value would have a sound, every sound would welcome you for feeling everything as sincerely as you want. If mind had a face, beauty would have a very ugly definition and if our hearts were as mindful as we want it to be, evolution would have reached the finish line way back. I have lived most of my life till date nurturing the ideology of silence and letting time be my spokesperson. But as you grow up, you tend to understand the world a bit better especially the power held by a befitting reply. My father uses this phrase a lot, he says, " kill the issue on the spot". He lives by his words, he does kill the issue on the spot, he does not mince words when it comes to an offender. I on the other ha...

My 'M' size life

Do you know what the most committed thing in your life is? It's not your parents, friends, or lovers. It will always be your belly fat. The center of your mass, the middle section of your body, and the putative locus of your subconscious. Why am I subconsciously always aware of its mass, and why does it matter so much that most of my neural energy is spent on concealing its existence? My belly fat grew up with me. When I was small, it was small. Now that I am big, it's big too. It's big enough to hold my beer of thoughts about my middle-of-somewhere existence. My window always shows me life in real-time. It is the beginning of spring here, and every morning when I wake up and look outside, I see the branches more peachy in color with flowers I knew I had seen earlier but forgot. I forgot when they vanished. I only noticed when the roads were colored again with them. These flowers remind me of my forgotten dreams. Dreams that have come back to me, slowly, again. The idea of ...

The Unblocking

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