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I Know It..

For some reason of unknown priority is the state of mind, which is in constant denial of thoughts that does not allow it to rest, like literally. Something in the head aches unlike the familiar headaches as if a machine has been running without a stop and is drained of fuel and energy only to realize no work has come out of it. Its abnormal how loud and fast my heart beats as if i have magically raised a second one in all these years in my right side too.There are people around me, so its hard for my eyes to even think of melting glaciers because i do not have an explanation for the warming that led to it.A cocktail of emotional trash flushes through the veins of my head and hurts the walls of the vessels in which my life filled blood somehow manages to reach out for me.I am dumbstruck with these changes as it is a renewed version of the previously experienced one, but this time with more intensity and nothingness. I tried emptying myself off of all but sooner realize that its not under my control to not think, what i am trying, not to think because what i end up involuntarily doing is thinking about it. Its a task to console yourself for every single thing at every moment and even more a task to do it in front of people, known , unknown, regardless.Its a wave that hits you and you get waved by it, thinking that this is all you got and get.And no matter how high the waves rise to make you believe its gigantic grip in your life, time is the gravity that will show it the ground. So while you struggle coming out of the deep, dim ocean of thoughts to grab a fresh breath, your body manages to  learn to swim through it secretively.Even if you can't see or feel what you have learnt you will never be the same body for the next wave of your life because now you at least know how important these waves are for your dream to be a swimmer!

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